Something that really struck me about Clay is how happy of a guy he seemed to be. He'd be making jokes in front of a bunch of high school students. When asked a serious question about his experiences in his work, his world seemed to freeze and his face would go blank. He would get very serious and remember the things he had to go through to complete his job. It was tough to imagine what it was like being able to relive those moments just by thinking about them. He can remember having to shoot a 12 year old, against all his morals, for the protection of his men and the civilians in the Cafe. He compared the taste of blood in his mouth to being able to remember the taste of your first birthday cake. He can recall many people yelling at him because he is a "ruthless killer", but he says he would die any day for them. This shows his dedication to this country and his belief that it truly is the best country in the world. He also told us that he did his job so none of us would have to which is incredibly inspiring. Some would call him a hero but he doesn't agree with the term because what he does is job.
The one story he told about the 12 year old girl and his seriousness as he told it made me realize how traumatizing that situation really was to him. It really was devastating to him because he had to shoot a girl who thought the best thing she could do was blow herself up because someone either tortured her or brain washed her. It gut wrenching how real the world is sometimes. He told that if he could redo the entire thing, he would have ran across the road and blown himself up. This interested me because he would have died with her instead of just her dying. I don't really understand his reasoning for this but I'm sure he has a good one. He says that he still sees her eyes staring at him every night before he goes to sleep and maybe this haunting image is why he wants a do-over on the whole thing. This just shows that even the world's top warriors can be traumatized and scarred for life.
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